Is it time to say Sorry?

When did you last say sorry? Why did you say it?

Is there a right or wrong time to say sorry? Of course there is!

Have you ever wondered why we say sorry? We do it for many reasons.

• We truly feel bad for what we said/did. We intend to apologize.

• To simply make the other person feel better.

• When an apology is required: this is mostly true in public and work spaces.

• It's been a habit.

• To get away with something we did/said.

Let me begin with the idea of "sorry as a habit". You hear something, you do something, you get in somebody's way, and no matter what, you say sorry. I once heard my friend June say, " Even if someone hits me, I'll apologize." But is that healthy? Where is it coming from? Words have power and others take you for your words. You get judged and treated for what they perceive you to be,not for who you are. Our words play a huge role here. Not saying sorry is as significant as saying it. And yes, there is a right time to apologize and a wrong time to not apologize.

Here's my story that made me take 'sorry' seriously A couple of years back, when things got uneasy with my in-laws, I said " I'm not telling you are wrong, I feel like I'm a misfit at your place and that is why I come less often." This caused major drama and I was asked to apologize to them for using the term 'misfit'. Well, I wasn't sorry about it, it was simply true. My in-laws told my husband, "until she apologizes she is not welcome in this house." Some of my friends advised me, "It's just sorry, why don'tyou say it if it eases things?"

But, the truth is that it's never about just sorry, it's about power and control. That makes me wanna tell you, a forced apology and a wrongly timed apology will do more harm than help.

How do you know if it's the right time to say sorry?

Looking within and understanding yourself is the key. No one knows you better than you. And there definitely is a reason why you act or do certain things. If you hurt someone, say sorry. If you feel guilt, call them up and say sorry. Beingproactive in apologising (if you mean it) will truly heal and ease you.

Prevention is better than cure

We pass through various emotions and might hurt others. By practicing sensitivity and avoiding intentional dialogues that hurt others, you will surely prevent situations from escalating. This can be achieved through a systematic process.

Rephrasing

Rephrasing is a valuable skill and technique that can instantly boost your personality. There are plenty of amazing YouTube videos that will show you how to do this.

P.S. : Keep a note (preferably physical) of situations that made you say sorry for no reason. Keep track of times when you truly felt like apologizing.

Never let go of your self esteem. Do not compromise on anything less than what you deserve.